Well, I moved to Texas to be with the man I have loved unconditionally since I was 17 years old. If that's not following my dreams, nothing is. He is still everything I have ever wanted in a man, and still as sexy as ever. Sometimes its a different kind of sexy. He's not the mind-blowingly hot young stud from round one.... he's older now. A little less fit (not much less, though...). His beautiful face has aged. But somehow, this has made him all that much more attractive to me. I look at the laugh lines at his eyes and I can't help but grin. There's no part of being near him that doesn't just fill me with joy.
Today, we made the first rent payment on our house. Its a cute house, and I love it. It's set up sort of strangely, so that adds to my affection for it. It has 3 bedrooms, so Jacie will have her own place to be when she stays over. I'm excited about that, too. I'm going to be a step mom. How fucking weird! But she's a really good kid, and I really like her. The kitchen is really big, though has no appliances at the moment. There's a really big living room, too, right in front of the kitchen window. That's weird and awesome. And right outside the windows in THAT room, there's ANOTHER room! I think we are going to use that as a sun/ plant room. Here's hoping I'm better with plants than Mom. I should probably stick to really pretty weeds, just to play it safe. Weeds are easy to keep alive.... Hard as shit to kill. That seems like the right fit for me. The yard is huge and fenced in, so I can stick Chubbs out there sometimes without having to worry about her wandering aimlessly into traffic.
I've been a bloody, cranky mess pretty much all day. I didn't get up in time to take a shitty shower before we left to run errands today, so I basically just got up, washed my face and brushed my teeth, threw on my comfy green cargo pants, and went. They're the ones with the legs all ripped up. When John David and I first went to meet the new landlady, I was specifically instructed to not wear those. I hadn't planned on it, and dressed nicely. Today, I planned on staying in the car when we went to see her, and then dropping my baby off at work and heading out to pack and move things. So, yeah. Comfy pants. Well, I DID end up getting out and I DIDN'T end up packing and moving things, and while he and I were sitting in her house, she made some comment about my knees showing and I laughed and we made a few jokes about my pants and it was no big deal... Or so I thought. John David said later in the car that he was embarrassed by them, and when I was dropping him off at work, he told me to hurry around to the other side of the car so that no one would see my pants. I didn't make much of a fuss about it, but that pretty much sucked and hurt my feelings pretty good....
To keep things in SOME perspective, I'm bleeding violently from my crotch and probably a little over sensitive about basically everything ever right now. So, realistically, it's probably nothing... But I'm a little butt-hurt over it. So I went home and in typical Brandy fashion, drowned myself in food. Most of it was actual food and not candy, so there's that. After a good fooding, I fed the dog and went out to check on my weasel. Not good. He couldn't even walk. I tried to get him to eat and he wasn't having it at all. Wouldn't even touch his ferravite. I knew at that point it was only a matter of time. I took a short nap... maybe 45 minutes to an hour. He was gone when I got up. So I have a dead ferret to add to today's list of things that weren't awesome.
And now, I'm pretty much done bitching about my day. I just needed to vent a little and document my Badger's passing.
