Anywhere You Go, I'll follow You Down (July 20, 2007)

I'm a sappy bitch. I complain allot. I've been dinstancing myself from someone who means ALLOT to me because it hurts me either way and at least this way, it's a little less. I'm terribly unmotivated. I have some issues I need to work out in my head to get right with life, you know? But somehow, days like today, well, they just don't seem all that bad. I'm going to Louisville with Brian tonight. Big goth-y event. Should prove interesting. My clothes all suck and I'm a bit worried about looking like shit, but oh well. I always worry about that. Tomorrow, Travis is coming up to meet me and we are going out to Ric's. He likes it there and I like it there and we both seem to enjoy talking to each other. Lol. I'm excited and a bit nervous, really. I'm usually nervous about meeting anyone new. It helps if I have a few drinks, so thats the plan. Hahaha. Trent and Lauren were going to come down today and swim for a bit, but changed their minds. :(  Ah, well. As much as I know I need to be home and take care of things here, like, you know, getting a jibby-job, I really miss being up there. It's fun for me. Not just because of Dynasty Warriors, either, though that does help. On an interesting note, as of April, Rob was (and probably still IS, knowing him) bitching about how "I broke his heart," blah, blah, blah.... My God dude.... Yeah, I still bitch a little bit about ...erm..... stuff...... but you know what? At least its more recent than THAT...  Also, I'm not all like, "...and if (insert scorner's name here) would just fall off the planet, life would be good!"  Ugh. Fucking child. I know, I KNOW, I don't have a great deal of room to talk, what with some of the things I have said and done in the last year, but you know, that's just fucking stupid. Rob seems to think that since I won't be his damn girl, we can't be anything, which at this point is true. But that's a lame way of looking at things. I'm not particularly fond of the thought of not having (insert name of ex here) as my significant other, but you know... he was my friend FIRST. And a good one at that. And despite all the bullshit, I'm GLAD to still have him as a friend, even if that means not having him the way I'd like. ITs life. It sucks sometimes, but for fuck's sake! Ugh... I have to go now. I'm seriously getting irritated over retarded shit.  I guess when it all boils down to the grit of things, I'm really mad because for a really long time, I though Rob was awesome. In a general kind of way. Like, he did all the cool stuff. It was uber-geeky, but it was cool. And now, its like, I'm pissed because he had me so duped for so long. I'm pissed because he's a fucking CHILD and I apparently just MISSED it for, oh, 10 years. I'm pissed because the more retarded HE acts, the stupider I feel for it all. AND on top of everything else, I'm pissed at myself that he can still get me pissed off by acting like an ass. I need a God damned drink. Fuck. I'll blog about how awesome tonight was later. Love ya all!