Things that don't matter to many people (Feb 24, 2009)

Current mood:weird

Today, I did a few positive things. For starters, I fixed the flusher in my toilet. Its been broke for a few weeks now and we've just been having to pull a chain to flush it. But Carl bought a proper flusher for it today and I fixed it up. The hardest part was trying to set the chain length. Bah. But all is well in toilet land. 
I also have 4 gallons of paint just itching to be applied to some walls. Oh, and some caulk to recaulk the fixtures in both bathrooms. That should give me something worth while to do while Carl is dicking around at work.
The names of paint are ridiculous. Most of the paint swatches are out in the trunk, but the one I have here has "shetland Gray," "Chromium," and "Overcast" on it. Since when is 'Overcast' a color?!? Really, they should all just be numbers. And I think I'm painting the bedroom "Pale Sunshine." Sounds cheery, doesn't it? Its fucking off white. Seriously. Oh, and the kitchen? "Ice Cap." What the fuck color is an ice cap, exactly? "Glass Green," which we got for Carl's bathroom, is really the only reasonable color amongst them, and lo! all glass is not even green. For that matter, the glass that IS green isn't the same shade as the paint. 
I'm excited about it all anyway.
I've found that one of my favorite things to do when I'm out in public is watch the people like I'm in a human zoo. Its quite fascinating. Today, I saw an older woman (at least 45) dressed like I might dress on super 80's punk rock night at the local gay bar, talking to herself. Fairly loudly, I might add. About cats banging on the doors at her house.
I also placed mental bets on which of the two elderly persons' battery operated buggies was faster. I think the old mans was. I'm not sure what they were arguing about, since I think both of them were crazy, but apparently the womens have arguments wrapped up all the way into senility, because she was winning.
Another one of my personal favorites is either threatening domestic abuse or alluding to the fact that I'm a victim thereof. I'm not really making fun of domestic abuse here, I think its horrible. But honestly, the looks people give when I threaten Carl with "a beating when we get home. And not just a regular beating. A 'You fell down the stairs' beating," are fucking PRICELESS. I think it helps that occasionally he will mutter a terrified "Oh, God!" on his own.
Really, I just kind of like making some sort of scene. Whether it be me jamming out to my own tune on a xylophone in the little kids section or being obscene with some oddly shaped fruits, I like to inspire people to attend church more frequently and pray just a little bit harder. Not because I'm some psychotic religous nut with weird inspiration, but because I think people need it. 
Any more, theres nothing that seems to make people sit up and say "what the FUCK just happened?!?" And I'm totally against that. There should ALWAYS be moments of WTF. ALWAYS. Without them, there's not much going on. Besides, what do you think is going to be a bigger hit in the phone conversations between Gertrude and Miriam tonight? The cost of canteloupes? Or the slightly odd girl with the baggy pants intently sniffing every candle on the shelf and then giving a commentary on each? The line at check out? Or me, dressed all in black, skipping down and aisle, singing the Tootsie Roll song?
In my own way, I'm brightening days even if it is at the cost of embarassing the crap out of my darling Carl. Seriously, its like a public service. I'm either lightening spirits (kinda) or sending people straight to hell for judging me. Either way, AWESOME.

Go eat some fruit. Its good for you.