Things Lost, Things Remembered, Things Forgotten, Things Loved (Jan 3, 2009)

Current mood:sad

Brandy,
   Um, well, here we are, at the there I go part. I should start by saying thank you for everything. Everything that you and your family have done for me. It is really hard to find an entire family that will accept you with open arms and that is what yours did. Don't be too mad at me for getting along with Rob. He was a lot like my little brother and I guess that's why we bonded. Never think that I cared for him  more than you. He is a good kid, but you're my sweetness. I saw so much in you, withing you also.You have the potential to be just as lovely on the inside as you are in your exterior. When the people around you feel the love that you have for them, they bestow it back upon you ten fold. The family that you have now is the one that you will always have, and you never know how long that is for, so please yourself by pleasing them. God smiles upon you, Brandy, all you have to do is smile back. Asmuch as I gave you hell, it was only to try and better your existance. I did it because I cared. I could have wasted more of the time we had together with anger, but that's not me. I will always remember you, I don't think brainwashing or a lobotmy could erase my memories of you. The sweet with the sour. More sweet. Remember that I chose you. You may not be able to reason it out, but it is really simple. A sweet, beautiful woman smiled at me. That is all it takes. I saw a lot in that first smile, and I wanted to cause that smile to reappear. I guess in the end I failed. I am really scared to leave, it takes a lot to go. I am so afraid that everything is the same. It takes a really long time for me to be able to feel love, let alone say it, but I do love you. In loving someone, you love most everything about them, and accept the things that you do not love. Just because I never said it does not mean I did not feel it. The worthiness of our lives is measured by how much love is in it. Yours overflows with as many that pours more out. Sometimes it is difficult to see, but it is there. Take care of yourself and everyone around you. You could spend your entire life accumulating your friends, yet at the end it is the family that counts. I love you Brandy. Remember that.

John david Vincent White

"If I am falling down a mountain....
... then I pick myself up...
If I go crashing into an iceberg...
... I wouldn't give a frightfull look!"

(I don't give a shit!)

The Cure, Harold and Joe... go... go... go...