Current mood:
irritated
There have been many goings on since I last posted. Aaaaaand, since I'm not sure when that was or what I wrote, I'll start where I want to and you can freaking deal with it. irritated
CAT
Hmmm.... The other day, I was mauled by a cat. This was a hell of a way to greet the day. The story runs thusly:
I was sound asleep all comatose and happy and warm and snuggled up and Keri's cat, Mudd, landed on my face, flipped out, and ran off. He's declawed, so he's learned to use his back claws for everything. Also, bear in mind that this creature weighs in at a meaty 13lbs. Big kitty. Anyway, I wake up as he's leaping from my face and give a small shriek and sit up. When this 13lb behemoth jumped off my face, he'd had his back paw right on my mouth and the sheer force of trying to rapidly heft that much lard into the air exerted much pressure on that back paw. This then pulled my bottom lip back and he sank his sweet little claws into that nice soft fleshy part of your mouth where your bottom lip meets your gums. You know what I'm talking about. That good, tender part that you sometimes jam your toothbrush into when you're in a hurry and brushing a bit too vigorously. Anyhow, I'm dazed and still mostly asleep and I sit up and I know I have a particularly wild look on my face because Jason's sitting across the room looking at me and asking what the fuck just happened and then began to show genuine concern whe, eyes bugged out and maybe rolling around in my head a bit, I clamp my hands over my mouth and just sit there shaking. Eventually, I felt ok enough to risk some sort of movement and I removed my death-grip on my face and stuck out my tongue at him. And succeeded in dripping blood on myself. And Jason says, "Holy fucking shit!" I get up and wobble into the bathroom, admittedly enjoying the taste of the blood because I'm a little weird like that, but deeply concerned that theres so damn much of it. Jason hands me a glass of water and I do the swish and spit that anyone whos ever been to a dentist knows. It looked like cherry kool-aid. YUM! I then pulled my lip down and looked in the mirror and to my absolute horror (and pain, really) I found a VERY large gaping hole in my mouth roughly large enough to stick my pinky into. And quite deep. Right about then is when the adrenaline kicked up a bit to keep me from going into a shock-like state (I do that sometimes when shit like this happens. Its the suck.) and the details get a bit fuzzy. I didn't kill the cat, but I also didn't manage to get back to sleep either. Keri felt horrible when she saw what happened and I think in his own cat way, Mudd tried to tell me he was sorry, too. I hold no ill will towards the cat (even if I do think he's a scardy bitch sometimes....).
WORK
I don't want to talk about it.
Well, you're right, I do, but I bitch too much about my job the way it is and I'm not going to today. If you're really interested in finding out how my day at work went after having a wake-up like THAT went, by all means, e-mail me. I like to rant.
BAR
Thursday is the dreaded karaoke night. -bum-bum-bum-BUMMMM- Naturally, I went. Whats a night out in a bar without me?? (Less entertaining, thats what. Smart-ass.) It was a good time, like it always is. I don;t know why I getmyself all worked up over it every time. I do, though. Without fail. About halfway through my day, I get that anxious nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach... that weird feeling like right before the right engine on the plane you happen to be riding on blows up in a shower of flame and shrapnel. Yeah, that one. I have no idea why. That's just what happens. I feel out of place in a bar that isn't MY bar. Yeah. Thats it. Well, I'm sure thas part of it. Anyway, I went and I had the fun and I got the drunk. Keri and everyone was there and they'd been there for a bit already when I made my grand appearance, fashionably late. It was really slammed in there. I like it when its like that, but then at the same time, I don't. I'm strange. Anyway, yeah, drinking, drinking.... after my customary red-headed slut and rum runner (and the additional blue fizzy drink
), I gave Rick full artistic license with my drinks. Every drink after that was either, "Surprise me." or "Something." And surprised I was on several of those orders. There were surprisingly few of them that were God-awful, for example. LOL. Just kidding. They were, with one exception, very good. And chock full of all the nutrition a sleep deprived alcoholic needs. I even got a twisty lemon peel thingy in one. I think that was the pink one in the martini glass. Neat. (I was actually very giddy about that one, because I never get to drink anything out of a martini glass, let alone something with a little fancy-ass lemon twisty thing in it. I felt all ritzy and shit.) Shortly after the pink martini thing, though, I lose track of some of the sharper edges of reality. I know that Nano drove me home and that Jason was there when we got there. I know that I fell down more times than I can count. I'd have an exact number for you, but I don't bruise as easily as all that so only half of my falls left a reminder to walk responsibly. I woke up in the middle of the night, thirsty as Tantalus, and found myself in my Mickey Mouse nighty and in bed. I also happened upon some Gatorade (I'll replace it, Mizz Kurry, don't you fret.).ART
I drew a FABULOUS picture at work the other day. Its a very lovely young lady (inspired mostly by Lauren. Yay, props to Lauren.) perched upon a jukebox (inspired by Trent's rec room. Yay, rec room.) wearing sexy high-heels, a mini mini skirt, and a tank top with the strap off one shoulder. Long dark hair. There's posters on the wall behind her of the Misfits, Ozzy, and Social Distortion (all of which I did a fan-fucking-tastic job on, I might add....), and another that says, "Kiss me, I'm punk." I scanned a copy onto the computers at work and am trying to do up some stuff to it on paint. The scan was horrible. That's why I didn't post the pic. But it'll be on here when I get it all done, so you can have that to look foreward to.
LIFE
Right, like this blog isn't long enough, huh? Hahahaha. I need a life.
In just happened type news, Jason sat up about an hour ago and asked me if the shower was on. I replied no, without thinking about it, but then because I can be pretty dumb (though, to the best of my knowledge, not THAT dumb...), I walked into the bathroom to check anyway. The shower was not on, but there was a telltale drip drip dripping noise coming from the tub area. Thinking that maybe in my euphoric state of "Just had a shower" (heh heh heh) I might not have gotten the water off all the way (pun), I leaned in to turn some handles. They were off though, and in the split second it took my brain to register this fact, I was bludgeoned in the head with a very angry droplet of water. (It would have been a better bludgeoning had the droplet been larger and more firm, but a valiant effort, I must say.) I looked up and the celieng is really quite full of water. Its leaking down from apartment 17 above me, and that really blows, becuase its locked and empty. Its being renovated. I tried the emergency pager number left at the office, which doesn;t open until noon, I think, on Saturdays. Guess how much good THAT did.... So yeah. Drip drip drip. (10:15 on a Saturday night... and the tap drips under the strip light.... and I'm sitting in the kitchen sink... and the tap drips... drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip.) I'll be seeing someone about this very very soon. Damn drippin'.
Ok, now I'm done.
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