Race Cars and Turtle Soup (June 1, 2006)

Current mood:weird

Ok, so I have a little time on my grubby hands right now and I decided to spend it the same way as I always do.... online. I am such a net junkie. Gah. So theres no real subject for todays blog. I just thought I might ramble on a bit. I woke up kinda early (for me) today and still didn't manage to accomplish a damn thing. I went over to Rob's house last night. We talked a bit. A lot, actually. I know he wants to get back together real bad. And to be honest, I really didn't. I had every intention of going over there today and telling him that I wanted to end it permanently. But, you know what? He raised a pretty strong argument. We discussed things like semi-rational people. That's a big step up from most times we talk about things. He is actually trying to be a better person right now, and I think that is a really good thing. He genuinely wants to change. It's horrible that it took me actually leaving to really call his attention to the problems we are dealing with right now, but if that's what needed to be done, then that's what needed to be done. He's seeing a counselor a few times a month to maybe help him sort through his hang-ups and has recommended that I do too. I don't know if I will or not. I know that some of the problems that we have are my problems too, but I don't think.... I dunno. I really have alot of crazy shit on my mind right now and its alot to think about. I know that one of our big problems was/ is a complete lack of real communication. Not just talking, but really talking and meaning what we say. Dealing with issues when they come up instead of sitting and dwelling on them until they eat us up from the inside out. And they do. There are so many things that he does that just drive me up the damn wall. And I know that there are a shit-load of things I do that make him crazy. We talked about maybe getting back together in the future, but taking a few weeks off from one another. That sounds like a decent idea, if nothing else. It gives us time to re-evaluate things and maybe come to some conclusions. In the mean-time, I will be staying down in Freetown (the dead zone) with Sigrid and the critters down there. I got my Mom's Crown Vic the other day, as my Zombie Car bit it. On the way t work, it overheated and was dead-dead. So, now I have the OTHER crapp-o car. It's not nearly as fucked as the zombie, but it does have its issues (don't we all...). For starters, it leaks oil. Not bad, but some. And I can smell it doing so as I'm driving. After driving a car that overheats way too soon for a while, I have become very attuned to the smells I smell while I'm driving. So theres that. The crown vic also is quite loud. There's a muffler problem, that while small, is very annoying. That damn car sounds like a semi. A semi in bad repair, no less. And then there's the door. Because I just CANNOT get ahold of a car in which all the doors work. This particular door, the driver's side front door, does not open from the outside. Which means one of 2 things. Either you get in on the other side and scoot across the seat.... or you leave the winder (!) down so you can reach through and open it from the inside. Well, I am much too lazy to climb all over the inside (aside from all the crap I've already added to the front seat...) so I chose leaving the winders down. Guess what? Rain. Every damn time. So, once again, by the time I will get home, I will have a wet butt. Butt on the bright side (and yes, I spelled it that way on purpose...), it runs really good. No overheating or anything. Well disguised blessings. I'm not quite used to the steering yet, but I'm getting there. It was aweful slick out today when I left for work (late, I might throw in.) and I was probably going a little fast on a road that does nothing but curl back on itself 1,000 times in 5 miles, and lo! What's this??! I fucking lost it! I took a corner a touch too fast and the tires (all of them) lost anything that even RESEMBLED traction and the car went skidding to the right, and you know me... I overcorrected that and flew off to the left. Lots of spinning. Brakes a'squealin'. But, I didn't hit anything or anyone (though I almost squashed a turtle further down the road. I didn't though.) and all it did was riase my heart rate a little bit.  And I  managed to get to work on time, too. Well, that's all the time I have on lunch, so I'll be going now. LOVINS!!!!