Well, THAT Was Completely Fucked Up. (Nov 5, 2006)

Current mood:weird

So, I go over to Russ's house yesterday and had a chat with him and Chrissy. Turns out that some of the stuff hes been telling her, he had no fucking right to be telling an 11 year old.  (By he, I mean Rob.) Tjhats not cool. Besides that, she was getting half the story, and the half she was getting was a bit diluted with whatever crap Rob was thinking at the time. So, Russ decided to put an end to it. He knows how much me and Chrissy are cool. So there's that. I'm not going to go into great detail about that, but it turned out pretty well, I think.

When I left there, I went to Mom's and hung out there for a bit. It was  kinda convienient that I happened to have my laundry with me, I think. ;) Eh, we basically just fucked off for a while. Then Bill's parebnts stopped by and Mom went and hid and I locked myself all up in the puter room. I came out to eat some cheese. Thats it. Lol.  While I was there, Miss Laura Bean called me and wanted to hang out. I said I would as soon as me laundry was all done and crap. (My laundry by the way, can suck my ass! All my socks are now roughly the color of denim and the light pink sleeves on my Oscar the Grouch hoodie-shirt? Oh, they're nothing even REMOTELY close to pink now! Grrr!) So after my laundry gets all done, I drive into town to Christian's house, where Laura, him, and Brandon are all chillin' out. They were watching some dumb movie that looked like something, well, a drama student would watch. Thusly, Laura and myself went into the other room to catch up on events. For all the guys reading this, we were gossiping. (Yeah, fuck you, it happens.) Anywho.... Eventually Christian gets bored and decides that we should all go to the Cozy. I hate the idea, but what the hell else am I going to do? I have no life.... :'(  So Laura and I head off to my pad in my car so I can put on some respectable band t, instead of my yuppie sweater (I chose Social Distortion for the occasion. ;)  ) and so I could give her her birthday gift, which was a shrinky dink magnet of a picture of her and I on one of her birthdays. She loved it. I think. Lol. It DID look really good. I did a fantastic job with that one.

Christian and Brandon go right to the bar, and we met them there after our detour. Brandon was playing pool. OMG, people. Me walking into the Cozy was like dropping me right into the middle of a redneck FREAK SHOW!!!!! Good fucking Lord!!! So, in typical Brandy character, I basically sat there and loudly talked shit and tried to get someone to start swinging on me. That didn't so much have any effect. Apparently all those years of iggin' in their ears with the car keys have damaged something in them. Fucking hilljacks. So, I ran my mouth for a while about the gay cowboy dancer, and about the chick with the whaite pants pulled up to her tits, and the bar skanks. Ahhh. There's the thing. BAR SKANKS. And they were out EN MASSE! Now, most of them were your typical redneck bar skanks. There were a few yuppie bar skanks. And then there was HER. The "I wanna look almost just like Brittany Spears did in that one video, only really, really trashy" bar skank. I think I love her. It went like this:

I'm sitting there running my mouth, and I see this one skank in a plaid skirt that was MAYBE as long as my hand (if) and a mostly unbuttoned white dress shirt with a black vest over it, thigh high fishnets (which I have always been a sucker for...) and stilletto strappy sandals. And she was dancing. Dirty.  Very VERY dirty. Well, this was just TOO much fun for me, so I took a damn picture! (Who doesn't take pictures at the zoo? I mean really??) The flash got her attention and she walks over and basically shoved her tits in my face. Well, allright. *click!* Then shes all posing up on this other chick. *click!* So, I turn around and start talking to Laura and Christian again. We chat for a bit and they point out to the dancing swarm of nasty. I turn and there's this chick. And shes staring at me and being QUITE lude. Well, allright. She comes over and gives me a perfectly..... well.... she gave me a lapdance. It was perfectly something, I just don't think Webster has come up with the word yet. So, I'm getting this lapdance, and I have my camera in my hand and I'm FLAILING at the people at my table to take a damn picture of this. Oh, no. Of course not. ARGH!! It doesn't matter. She has this LEASH around her neck, right? And she flips it around my neck and drags me off to the dance floor. THAT was interesting. Its not common that I dance anyway, but to be the male part of the dance? Well, hell! So there was that. I went and sat down and polished of another malibu and pineapple. Smoked a few cigs and REFUSED to make eye contact with this chick. Talked to Laura. Stared at the wall. Eventually, I got another lapdance. This chick was something else, I'll tell you. So, she dragged me back out on the dance floor, where we did that dancing crap again. At one point, my hand was either on her hip or her shoulder, but just to be funny, I smacked her ass with my other hand. Oh, what a mistake THAT turned out to be! She grabs my hand and sticks it right on her tit. *squish squish* I thought my brain was going to pop! Was this really happening? WHAT THE FUCK??? Not too long after this, I managed to pull away and get back to my seat. Lord. So, I'm sitting there with my back turned, talking to Laura, and then I get the unmistakeable feeling of someone straddling me from behind and trying to dance while doing so, or, if you want the simple version, humping me from the back. I drew the line when she started to wrap her legs around me and went ahead and went back to the dance floor with her. We danced some more then I slipped off again. Back to my table. *text* I looked up and that chick was being all skanky on this redneck skank. *click* Brandon was getting pissed that the skank was all up on my shit and not his and I told him to go for it. I said, "I don't want her anyway, you get her. She seems the type that it wouldn't really matter to anyway." Well, that didn't so much happen. We left not too long afterwards and he finally got the nerve to talk to her and apparently all she did was ask about me. LMFAO!!!! Ah, little does she know, I have sworn off vaginas. Long ago. Eh, oh well. So we all go back to Christians house and chill for a bit. Brandon kept trying to run game on me and I was NOT having it. I told him so, too. At one point, he put his hand on my leg and quickly made his way up toward , you know, my junk, with it and I bout freaked. I was like, "Hey!! HEY!!! Gettin' awfully close to my vagina there, aren't ya, bub???!" It embarassed him and he left me alone for a bit. I left there not too long after, too. Hmmm. After that, my night was pretty normal. I went home alone and sat there for a bit trying to think about what I was going to do, ended up sitting there mastur....nothing. I did nothing. Er... heh heh heh. I DID watch V for Vendetta, you know... after. I fucking LOVED that movie! Awesome! And that was how fucked up my day was. Like wow.